STRIP CLUB ETIQUETTE
Dress Nice
Think of going to a strip club as going on a date: you want to look your best for the girls. Shower beforehand, shave, and brings mints or gum. The dancers will thank you for it by getting a lot closer to you. If you want a lap dance, wear loose fitting clothing for both your comfort and the dancers: they’re not fans of jeans (especially zippers) and you’ll feel um, much better.
Bring Lots Of Cash
Strip clubs are a business: the girls are there to make money from you. Their earnings come from tips and they have to give a good portion back to the club. Bring ample cash for a good time but give yourself a limit. Most clubs have ATM machines available, but be prepared to pay surcharges and additional bank fees. Do not sit stageside unless you plan to tip the dancers on stage: it may result in a visit from a bouncer or club management.
Look, Don’t Touch
The big rule of thumb with exotic dancers is to follow, not lead. Do not touch them unless they give you the green light by guiding your hands. Strip clubs have a strict “touch and go” policy: you touch, you go. Additionally, if you are rude to a dancer, you could find yourself being thrown out by one of the guerilla guards. Be nice, and nobody gets hurt.
Don’t Expect Sex
Bad news: despite what you see on TV or see in porn flicks, you will not get laid at a strip club. There are perhaps a few exceptions, like if you’re an A-list celebrity or multi-millionaire. But if you are neither, forget it. Also: paying extra for the Champaign Room/VIP Room will get you some extra attention from a dancer, but not sex. Club owners do not want their establishments to be shut down for breaking the law. In fact, most clubs have surveillance cameras inside the rooms to monitor any illegal activity.
Be Assertive, But Polite
If a girl approaches you about a dance and you’re not interested, just be polite and say, “No thank you, maybe later.” Don’t try to keep talking to her for free. Allow her to find other customers who’ll pay for her company. Also, make a habit of tipping the girls you do like. Otherwise, word will spread quickly that you’re not a paying customer and trust us; you don’t want that kind of rep if you ever plan to come back.
Be Friendly With The Dancers
You don’t have to be completely silent while getting a dance. Talk to the girls and be charming – and respectful. They may be more inclined to get even “more friendly” with you. Another thing to do is ask the stripper about her past experiences – most of them have lot of interesting stories to share. You won’t get sex for asking, but it could mean extra time sitting with a practically naked girl.
Tip Everyone
If you want the best experience at a strip club, your best bet is to tip everyone there including the bouncer, DJ, and bartender. The bouncer could get you better seating, the DJ could direct the hottest girls your way, and the bartender may give you stronger drinks (well, maybe).
Timing Is Everything
The best time to go to a strip club entirely depends on what you’re looking for. If discretion is important, then you should go during off-peak hours: weekdays before 9. If you’re looking for the biggest and best selection of girls, your best shot is a Friday or Saturday night after 10pm.
And there you have it. Ready to go? Before you head out, check your local city paper or adult publication for special offers. But don’t forget if a club’s offering free admission, they’ll often get you on the drink minimum. One last piece of advice: the best rule of thumb in regards to gentleman’s clubs is to simply use common sense.
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